Wazzaaaaaap!?

Hello everyone. My name is Dystrophia. Formally, I am a god of very, morbid things, if I do say so myself. Things like death, destruction, powerful trans-dimensional energies that permit my existence, and probably, some of your own. I'm not a bad person, I like humans, it's why I've joined places like this. Recently, I've become bored of sucking the souls out of good and bad people who oppose me and my kingdom, so I've taking to playing a game of dastardly strategy and tactics, one of which has ruined many lives, but also enhanced many. This game is so dark and powerful that it shakes the fabric of reality itself. A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME..!! I know, I know, for a power trans-dimensional god of destruction and death and soul-ripping, it's kind of.. odd, isn't it? Well guess what buddy, gods need something to do too.
I hope you morta- I mean kind people can become my mates, and in turn we will all be one big happy family. I've never actually had a family, because y'know. I'm an intangible embodiment of power, so yeah..
Give me your soul- I mean friendship and we'll get along like brothers.
Happy war, destruction and glory on the battlefield! ~Dystrophia <3